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The Mindful Attraction Plan: Your Practical Roadmap to Creating the Life, Love and Success You Want, by Athol Kay
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The Mindful Attraction Plan is a seven-phase process to change you for the better, in order to leverage your critical issue to resolve the way you want it to.
"This is the pure, original meaning of the Law of Attraction, far away from fad books like "The Secret". The Mindful Attraction Plan is a very neat packaging of wisdom from a number of different sources, and that's exactly what makes it stand out. It's simple, easy-to-use and more importantly, it just plain works. " -Brian C Rideout "The Wild Man Project"
Most threats of ending relationships in hope of change, fail because of extremely poor timing. The MAP covers the pacing of the escalation toward the Resolution Point. Most serious attempts to change things happen in the heat of the moment, which is typically a negative emotion blowout and ineffective. The MAP keeps things calm and steady in the hope that your partner starts acting like a reasonable person and the relationship can start turning positive.
The first part of the book is a very clear description of exactly how you become more attractive as fast as possible. Covering six areas of development you need to focus on:
(1) Physical Fitness and Health
(2) Money and Material Possessions
(3) Displays of High Value
(4) Building Relationship Comfort
(5) Personality and Preferences
(6) High-Energy Sex
Within each area there's a traffic light color coded system for things you need to do.
Red = Draining Energy = Stop It
Yellow = Stagnant Energy = Fix It
Green = Flowing Energy = Do It.
There's no confusion about what you should be doing to improve your attractiveness and I even cover the exact order of importance your addressing things needs to follow. The (1) to (6) order is very important for example.
The second part of the book covers the seven phase approach to taking your new attraction and leveraging that into getting what you want from your relationships.
- Sales Rank: #512860 in Books
- Published on: 2013-07-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .45" w x 6.00" l, .60 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 196 pages
About the Author
Athol Kay woke up one morning four years ago and decided he wanted to fix everyone's marriage. Not realizing it was impossible, he started an influential blog, wrote The Married Man Sex Life Primer, started a forum, got some news media write ups, ended up on Inside Edition, got dragged to Human Resources, quit his day job and now has thousands of emails of thanks for saving marriages and restarting sex lives.
Now he wants to fix your whole life.
Most helpful customer reviews
28 of 30 people found the following review helpful.
Improve your life and the lives of those around you
By Amazon Customer
Dan Savage, sex columnist and political activist, writes that he starts every day going through the large number of emails he receives from men frustrated at the lack of sex in their marriages. This is clearly a common pain point and a big problem. Dan, who is compassionate, wise, witty and unafraid of a fight when thrust into one, generally ignores such letters in his columns to focus on less vanilla issues. Who'd read the column otherwise? [*]
Athol Kay, blogger and author, has taken a different approach and the success of his advice has allowed him to create a popular and growing web community and write a series of books. Mindful Attraction Plan, is his latest. Good as his other books were, this stands above them.
For Athol Kay, the sex deprived marriage is only an indicator of deeper problems. Solving the deeper problems will either automatically turn the sex problem around or provide the tools to allow a more assertive approach to resolve the issue. Sex deprivation need not be the life issue. The problem could be you are lonely, broke, unhappy, overweight, in a bad relationship or, indeed, undersexed.
For the author, loneliness, bad relationship, overweight, undersexed or other obvious pain points are often not problems that can be directly solved. They are symptoms of something deeper. Solve the deeper problem and the symptoms resolve. I call this the thorn in the lion's paw problem. The issue for the lion is not that they limp when they walk, can't land after pouncing, stand properly or that the other lions laugh at their awkwardness. If the thorn is not addressed, then working directly on any of those clear handicaps will not solve anything. Discover the thorn and remove it and the whole system of problems resolves.
Humans are complex creatures operating within complex systems. Any number or combination of things could be that thorn in the lion's paw. After explaining the happiness and life satisfaction gains for a person and those around them by identifying and resolving the core issues, the book provides the equivalent of a pre-flight check-list of what the problems could be and what the solutions are.
Like a pre-flight check list, most of the potential problems are obvious 'is there gas in the tank?', 'have the stops been removed from the landing gear?' But pre-flight check lists work, even though everything on the list is obvious, for even the obvious can be missed. How many have friends who can not see in themselves what is obvious to those around them? We are no different about ourselves. No sex in your marriage? Being heavily overweight would make you unattractive and that could be a big part of the problem. Start working out and don't scrimp on the weight training! The book's pre-flight check list has dozens of such potential issues and is a way for an individual to gain some distance from themselves and realize what some of their own issues might be. The book then gives clear advice about what you can do, right now, to start to turn around each of the issues identified.
And there are a lot of potential issues.
People, imperfect as we are, will normally have more than one issue. Weakness in one area will contribute to weakness in other areas. Turning these around will take time and dedication. But the task should not be daunting as there is always some small step forward that can easily be made. The key is to make those steps and keep the long goal in mind. Even taking a wrong step is better than taking no step at all, for now you have begun moving. Individual steps might be easy, but getting everything lined up will require real work of a year or more.
Next, with the solution built, you have to fix the problem. Sometimes the problem will resolve itself as you work on your part of the solution. However, relationships take on a life and patterns of their own and the second part of the book outlines how to positively and assertively use the changes you have made in your life to get the changes you need in your relationship or, failing that, move to a relationship that meets your needs.
Those who follow the author's web community, marriedmansexlife (mindfulattractionplan is still under construction as I write), you will have seen in real time numerous such situations being resolved with people following that advice. I am blessed with a relatively uncomplicated life with no major issues (knock on wood), but I have learned a great deal from the author's web community and his books, including this one. I've tried many of the suggestions and to my surprise and joy, they have worked.
Athol Kay's community, his blog and his books - including this one - have been some of the best investments I have made in improving my own life and the lives of those around me. Mindful Attraction Plan will only take a couple hours to read but is sure to contain several insights that you can put to work immediately for your own happiness and the happiness of those you care about. Without hesitation or reservation, I strongly recommend it.
[*] Dan's advice to all those married men driven crazy by the lack of sex in their otherwise good marriages is to discretely cheat. American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics Absent credible options this may well be the best advice, but it is the advice of despair. Mindful Attraction Plan provides other credible options.
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
Frightening, Wonderful and Miraculous
By TM
This book is the second of Athol Kay's that I've read. The other book, the Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011, is like a guy's best friend at a sports bar setting his buddy straight because he can't stand to see him in such pain. This book is different. It is for both men and women, and it going into more in depth on how to actually fix things. As a woman, as much as I loved the first book, I find the Mindful Attraction Plan (The MAP) so useful. It is for me too.
And the message is frightening - how much I thought I knew, and how much I was wrong. And the message is wonderful. I have power to change things. And the message is miraculous.
Things actually can change. For the better.
If you every buy a book to fix something... something that you can't identify, that shouldn't bother you because you're doing things the way you have learned are right, but you're still sad and disheartened, and you're a little bit scared - and this isn't only about relationships, as you'll learn... it is about your whole life...
This is the book that I recommend you buy as a start. Start here.
And if you're a guy, get a copy of MMSL Primer 2011 to go with it.
And be prepared. It isn't gentle. It isn't easy. But it is lifechanging.
27 of 30 people found the following review helpful.
Good book, recommend it, but a little "soft" for my tastes
By Average Married Dad
Summary: As a two year hard-core student of the Red Pill, self-improvement and intergender and sex dynamics, I am not the target audience for this book and didn't necessarily "learn" anything new. With that said, the lens through which this book was written was entirely unique, will appeal to a large audience and it reawakened some of my own thinking and has already allowed me to push through past barriers to improvement. I think that no matter where you are, if you keep an open mind, you'll get some new perspective or some new nugget that hasn't yet been uncovered and I would recommend it anyone.
Full Review: I'll admit that I am struggling with how to present this review. It first needs to start with Athol's previous book: The MMSL Primer 2011 (AKA "The Primer"). This book was raw, edgy and was written for men, and explained things between genders in a comprehensive way that then allowed us married guys to apply it to our lives to improve ourselves and our relationships. This new book may have the same bullet points repackaged, but is the opposite of raw and edgy. As a regular reader and one who is used to the author writing to a more masculine audience, it was admittedly a hard pill to swallow. The Mindful Attraction Plan is written for both men and women and you can tell from the outset it was toned down specifically so that it appealed to more conservative masses. I certainly can't fault this approach since it does probably start more people on a journey towards a more positive life, and as one who is pro-staying-married (once you're there), I think this message can't be spread far enough. But I, for one, missed the raw edge.
I liken the two books to differing approaches to a protest. The Primer was the "in your face" aggressive protester who is throwing bottles at the cops and pissed off about whatever injustice they are protesting about. The Mindful Attraction Plan (The MAP) is the hippy non-violent protester who accomplishes their fight against injustice in a more peaceful way. Both are acceptable approaches depending on your vantage point, and are two sides of the same coin... much like the yin/yang-esque symbol on the new book's cover.
For about half my life now, my philosophical and spiritual thinking migrated from younger christian beliefs to more eastern philosophy and non-traditional spirituality. I was really surprised to see this play a foundational role in The MAP. Positive and negative energy in the context of self and relationships is something I've believed for awhile, and Athol makes this the centerpiece of his book. To me, this makes way too much sense and was a little surprised that he made the jump from the raw force that was The Primer to the softer more positive, more spiritual approach here. But in doing so, it does lose some of the biological and anthropological explanations and backbone with regards to intergender relationships that made The Primer so powerful. It focuses nearly entirely on self, being present, making changes within yourself as an end in and of itself. I really liked the idea of making small improvements each day (he referred to a change of 0.1% each day) to add up to big improvements later.
As one who considers himself more academic and loves statistics, studies and research in support of key points, I thought The Map was lacking. I consider it more gooshy and soft science (at best) when he was making his point. It lacked some substance in my opinion. He references a number of times throughout the book circumstances where he's seen certain things or helped couples overcome toxic situations, but he doesn't ever reference specific stories. Books like No More Mr Nice Guy and Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence carry more weight due to the specific examples of real couples dealing with specific situations. Now the focus is more on self in The Map, but thought this type of thing would have bolstered some of his writing.
As a huge fan of Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now about being and living in the present, I think The Mindful Attraction Plan has a lot to offer for self-improvement and about seeing the dynamics between people in a new light. I can say that there are still stagnant things in my own life that I need to work on, and this book has me already addressing them in a way that is positive and doesn't beat up too bad the reader's past choices. It's a very positive mindset book, and while it's a little soft for my tastes, still has a lot to offer and is a good introduction to self-improvement, marriage improvement and sex improvement (in a roundabout way) without scarring the uninitiated. I would say it's a good companion to The Primer, but of the two, The Primer is more of a slap in the face from a Bull which I think is needed for many men having a hard time figuring out why their marriage isn't what they want. The MAP is a soft approach into the same areas and is a great intro to men and women who are looking to simply improve themselves and as a result, their marriage and sex life.
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